Prolonged Spousal Abuse.

I am currently waiting on the annulment proceedings regarding my first marriage. It has been a real journey for me. I wonder if the result will be positive and if I will go another year without Eucharist.

I am not sure how my petition was filed, but I believe it was due to extreme and prolonged spousal abuse. I think my main desire right now is to feel like I belong. I am glad I finally found a forum that deals with these issues.

When all is said and done and over with my journey, I think I would like to become an annulment procurator, or work with people going through this.

I am amazed at how many people who have been Catholic all their lives have no clue as to the gravity and intricacies of this issue.

Sexually Abused by Stepfather

I am 65 years old. And I feel that the Lord has been talking to me about getting my Catholic marriage anulled. I was born and raised in a Catholic home and I have an ex-wife (we where first married in a non-Catholic Church (1956) as she was not a Chatolic) Later she took instructions and we were married in the Catholic Church(1958). We raised our 3 boys in the Church after our divorce in 1969. She kept them in the Church for a few years after our divorce. My ex-wife had been sexually abuse by her stepfather for over three years (age14-16)as a result she suffered from that problem the rest of her life. I tried to get her to go to counseling but she refused. As a result during our marriage(1956-1969) she had numerous extra marital relationships. When I say numerous I mean as many as 2-3 a year. I am not sure that two of my three boys are not mine. I know that the youngest is not because she told me so. But the middle one I believe I know who the father is but have not been able
So in 1969 we got a divorce. In 1967-1968 I went to Viet Nam because I was a career Army NCO.

It was the worst thing that had happened to me in my whole life. I got out of the Army in 1968 after 12 1/2 years. I suffered from PTSD for about 17 years. During that time I was an alcoholic and between the Alcoholism,the PTSD and the divorce my life was a nightmare.

I was married 4 times. I finally got things under control in 1985 and quit drinking. I have been married for 20 years. She is not a Catholic. But she does not mind that I practice my religion.

Since I am getting old ans suffer from numerous medical problems I would like to be able to take the sacrements and have a Catholic funneral. I feel very left out not being able to be a complete Catholic.

I here of all the very rich people getting annulments all the time and I would like that to happen for me.

Please help me get back in the Church again. You are the first person I have contacted about an anullment.

One other thing is my ex-wife and my boys no longer practice the Catholic faith. At one point my ex-wife said she would agree to an annultment but she is so mean and hateful that I do not know what she would d at this time.

Thank you and God Bless You.

Feel Lost, Empty, Betrayed, Helpless

I'm a nurse and currently working here in Saudi Arabia as an ICU-nurse. I'm surfing the internet and it happens that I've browse your column about marriages and its complications (you know...) I'm married since January 2000 (in the Philippines) and I have a baby girl who is 2 years old now.

My problem is, I married the wrong man. Wrong because he didn't say he's previously married, and would you believe!...married twice to his wife. I'm a catholic (not that religious) but I have my principle in life (probably one legacy my parents inculcate in me). Don't mess up with married men. But here I am, stuck in my own dilemna.
I'm dumb to believe his sweet nothings but he's good with words that's why for 2 years of boyfriend-girlfriend relationship we end up getting married and even bear his child.

When a long-time friend of ours saw me shopping in a mall, she asked who's the husband (at that time I'm 5 months pregnant) I joked and told her a different name and then she's telling me that:"good, at least now I can tell you everything" and she told me everything she knew.

At that time, I'm so numb. I didn't know how I got home and what happen next but I talked with my husband (then...) about the news that night. He denied but I can feel he's hiding something from me. When I give up and was about to leave our room, he grab my arm and cry and started pouring his bitter relationship with his wife.
I feel lost, empty, betrayed, helpless and everything but I stay still and talk-it-out with him.

After his confession, I decided that if I'll stay with him I won't be the same person. I'll be like a nagging, suspicious, paranoid, and lastly "the second-wife". I cannot bear that so I told him "better get out of my room and my life forever". He doesn't want to, I know but I have to choose between him or my life.
I let him stay and go on with our usual routine until two months before my delivery date he left and didn't come back. I'm longing for him but I hold on and pray. It's the most difficult time of my life, good thing I'll be having my angel soon and that's what keeps me going.

I want to correct everything for our future. I'm here in Saudi, to save money and prepare for it.
Could you give me advice on:
Are we really married?
If not, what will I do so that our marriage certificate be cancelled/revoke?
How will I go about it?
What will happen to my baby's surname? (I use his surname. I know nothing about laws regarding using surnames of her father)

I don't have enough money to pay for all the attorney's fee and everything but I'm willing to save just to get out of this mess. Actually my parents have no idea of where I'm into. They're old and I want them to enjoy their life.
I want inner peace and with the Lord's guidance I'll stand strong and fight.

Thank you for listening and hoping that you can enlighten me with your legal and moral advice.

Seeking Annulment Procedure

I was married in the Philippines three years ago, I have a 2 year old daughter and is now seeking to get an annulment. Would you be able to tell me the procedure in doing that. Do I need to file the annulment in the Philippines since I got married there? Do you have an idea as to how long it would take? I'm filing for divore here as well, would that speed up the annulment process? Any advice/help you could give would be greatly appreciated.

Married in the Orthodox Church

Please can you help with the following issue. Is it possible for a catholic christian man, who never married before, to get married in the Catholic church, to an orthodox christian woman who was however married in the orthodox church before but has got a divorce by the orthodox church?

Annulment in the Philippines

I've been married for three years and is now seriously considering filing for annulment. We were married in the Philippines but now both reside in the US. Is it necessary that I file the annulment in the Philippines, or can I do it here? I'm filing for divorce as well, would that speed up the annulment process? Any help you could give would be greatly appreciated.

Non-Baptized Buddist

My fiance and I have been engaged for 3 months. My case is very similar to Case #2 with the following additions. I am a baptized non-Catholic, previously married who wishes to convert as a Catholic and seeking to marry a Catholic for a Sacrament Marriage.

My previous marriage was to a non-baptized buddist and was only entered into marriage for INS purposes. He was incarcerated and a 'criminal alien' who was looking to be deported. I am a u.s. citizen. We signed the mlicenseliscense at the State Prison.

He eventually got released and a dissolution of marriage has been entered and finalized.

We have been told that we cannot be married in the Catholic church. We both want this to be a sacrament marriage. what can we do? will another priest perform the ceremony for us in another catholic church? we don't have much time because parents on both side needs a date and i read that some of the cases take 6 months to 1 year.

We would like to start a family right away. one year is an awfully long time.

Subject of Abuse

I have a female friend who has been the subject of abuse, both mentally and physically. She has asked him to get help but he refuses. The abuse continues. They were married in the Catholic Church. She obviously has a case for divorce. The question is abuse of this nature grounds for annulment? Thank you for your time.

Annulment vs. Divorce

I have a friend that was married 6 months ago. It was not a Catholic Ceremony. Her husband is now having an affair. Can she have the marriage annulled? What is the difference between annulment and divorce?

Obstacles In My Situation?

I have a situation and I'm seeking information.

1)I married a girl and we were not baptised (No Church in our Life) and were married by a Justice of the Peace. 2)We got divorced. 3) I married a woman and we are not baptised (No Church in our Life) and got married by a Justice of the Peace. We have two children. 4)I want to be a part of the Catholic faith, and my wife wants to stay neutral on the issue. That's okay with me. 5)I'm in the process of being in a RCIA program, but I realized I may not be accepted, are there any obstacles in my situation?

Thanks for your help.

Married the Wrong Person

After years of soul searching and rediscovering my Catholic Faith, we were remarried sacramentally at private Catholic wedding with our local priest. As you state, persons such as myself do function well at work, provide, graduate from college etc. yet I have denied my feelings of lonliness and security which may stem from my upbringing. The key phrase you used was that such behaviors are a result of weakness not malice. That is exactly how I feel. I believe these warning signs were there but our families, one Catholic and the other Mormom did not intervene out of their own different world views and were glad that their children seemed "happy". I need to determine if I indeed married the wrong person and if I have grounds of an annulment. Is there a basic questionaire I could complete which might give me some clues? Your help is appreciated.

Converted to the Roman Catholic Faith

I am a 46 year old Catholic man struggling with my marriage and came across your website. I have been married for 22 years, have 3 children (ages 13, 11, 9) and have been struggling for years with what others see as "anger management" problems due to what I have considered heavy job stress and oblilgations of providing for my family. I have thought for many years that if only I could be more patient, with God's grace, express my marital life frustation honestly to my wife--which I have often, many times, that somehow my relationship with my wife would improve. If I could only make my wife change i.e. be more interesting, more confident, more trustworthy, that I would have less frustration.She is attempting to figure herself out by attending weekly couneling with a Catholic family therapist, yet I see no sustained change . Not until I read your article about the possibility of "personality disorders" did something inside of me click and realize that due to my upbringing, and also being married at a young age (23) that that is may be the root cause of my on-going feelings of hopelessness and feelins of being trapped. Combine that with a wife who though is a very good mother, and devout woman yet ignores my needs after I have expressed them both verbally and in writing, I feel as though I entered into the marriage having married the wrong person. Now as I look back and see just how different my family is from hers, (Italian-American from New York) and she a native California, raised in the Mormon faith and then converted to the Roman Catholic faith before we married, that may be part of the reason why I have been experiencing pain for so long. Having strayed from the RC faith at one point in my life, we were married in 1980 in a non-demoninational Protestant Church with a short 6 month marriage prep course.

Married to a Divorcee

I got married to a divorcee last March 27th. He's Catholic and he was married in Catholic rites. However, he had not been practicing his faith for a long time. After meeting me, he claims that I have brought back his faith. During summer his kids stay with us and we go to hear mass. I am a little troubled that I am not doing my duty to explain the faith to them, to discuss the bible, etc. However we make it a point to say grace before dinner. His ex wife had been mad at him, embittered. I don't know if there will come a time when we can marry in church. Anyway, my prayer request is this.

I'm Confused

I have a question ... if you don't mind?

I read all the material about annulment, etc., on your website but my situation didn't seem to be included.

I am American by birth and my wife is from the Philippines, which is where we were married 18 years ago. I had a previous non-sacramental marriage to a non-Christian woman. The priest asked me questions and spoke with the bishop who then authorized the wedding in the Church. (I was baptized in a protestant church but made a Profession of Faith and was Confirmed in the Catholic Church after my previous marriage had ended in divorce.) Here's my "problem." The Bishop gave VERBAL authority for the priest to marry us in the Church. No paper trail!

Now, I am applying for the Permanent Diaconate Aspirancy and Formation Program and - naturally - they have asked me for the certificate of annulment from my previous marriage. I attached a statement explaining the above but if that is not sufficient what would I do? Our marriage contract shows my previous marital status and that we were married by a Catholic priest in the Catholic Church. Is this (lack of written authorization) a common occurrence? Or even an uncommon one that does happen on occasion? What can I tell the interview committee?

I'm heavily involved in the Church as a Catechist, Sacristan, Mass Coordinator, Eucharistic Minister, Lector, St. Vincent de Paul Society Counselor, Minister to the Sick, etc.

And now I'm confused.

Well, thanks for listening even if this is as puzzling to you as it is to me.

Respondent Do Not Consent

I have some questions about the annulment of marriage. I am the respondent in this particular case. If I, as the respondent do not consent to the procedure taking place can it still go ahead?

If the answer to the above question is yes then surely asking me to sign a piece of paper to say whether I oppose or not is farsical, is it not? If I take part in the procedure who do I have to represent me who is impartial to the catholic church?
If I disagree with the outcome does the petitioner have to pay the appeal costs or am I expected to pay? Bearing in mind that I never asked for the annulment in the first place?

I have read that "voidable marriages are valid until annulled and any children legitimate". This implys that therefore if the marriage was invalid then the children are therefore illigitmate even if only in the eyes of the church. Is this a correct interpretation?

Is the petitioner casting blame as with a civil divorce or can the petitioner accept full responsibility for the marriage being invalid?

I may have some more questions but that is all I can think of at present.

Why the imbalance?

I was baptised protestant (Church of Scotland), I married at 20 and divorced at the age of 29. (I had two children).

I was married in a Protestant service, at a local hotel. My ex father-in-law conducted the service as a Church of Scotland minister.

I re-married in a Scottish Registry office (civil) ceremony aged 31.

My wife is Roman Catholic but cannot take mass, because I was married and divorced.

I would like to have our marriage blessed, and see my wife taking mass again.

We have a daughter who is being brought up in the Roman Catholic faith.

Can you advise if there is due process to follow to allow this to happen.

If my wife converted to being a Protestant, accepting communion(Mass) and having our marriage blessed would not be a problem.

Can you also explain the Church law in this respect, as my wife's only sin is to fall in love, and marry a Protestant divorcee?

There are far greater sins in the eyes of God that are not treated with such draconian measures by the church. Why the imbalance?

Marriage Requirements

I have some questions regarding the church wedding in Bacolod city, I am a residence in Brgy. Taculing and now I am here in germany and married to german we want to have our churh wedding next year, yet we are married here in civil rites, I just wanted to know what are the requirements and the preparation regarding to our papers , I am looking forward for your response.

Don't Love The Husband Anymore

I came across of ur website...and hoping to find an answer.. I am a 20 year old lady... and i have been married for 1 yr now.. but i found myself with something. I would want file for an annulment with my husband. I am a catholic, raised and baptized here in the Philippines.I got pregnant at a very young age that had led me to the choice of marrying the father of my child. Which i find myself trapped. I would like to know who are the people clould help me file my case for annulment. I know it will be costing so much.. and the pressure and evrything. What can be my ground for annulment i got married at the age of 19. with the consent of my parents.

Pls tell me what to do..i don't love my husband anymore...

Possible Solution to the Dilemna

A friend suggested this as a possible solution to the dilemna I am in and since I had never heard of it before, I did a search and came across the following on your website:

"If a Catholic gets married in a Non-Catholic Rite (Civil or Church) and wants to return to the practice of their Catholic Faith but their spouse will not agree to have their marriage convalidated by the Catholic Church, the other spouse may apply for a Radical Sanation, which convalidates their Marriage without going through the Convalidation Process and after going to Confession he/she can practice their Catholic Faith. "

Could you give me some more information about this as well as the Canon law references so that I can see if it might apply to me and sound informed when I go to talk to my parish priest about it. Thank you.

My situation is that I am Catholic, not receiving the Sacraments because I was married in a civil rather than Catholic ceremony. My husband isn't Catholic and is opposed to the whole idea of the Catholic Church needing to be involved in our marriage. I've been working on accepting that if it is God's will, then my husband will have a change of heart but I'm wondering if perhaps there is another option. Thank you very much. May God Bless you.

Wife Left Home

My wife left the home several years ago ... she left the entire family to be on her own and to live a life evolving a sexually uninhibited lifestyle.

My problem is this... I want desperately to get on my life ... how ever my wife continually delays the civil divorce, She filed 3 years ago. My attorney most recently got a judge to responded to my plea for a trial. But I have been here before. The only thing seems to be holding her to me is the support I pay her ... but that will not necessarily end after the divorce. Plus a huge cash settlement.

I grieve the fact that my marriage ended three years ago. And now I continually grieve that beyond the civil divorce I will have another year (or more) in the annulment process. I believe this three year delay is intentional on my X's part.

Is there any appeal, any mercy, any special process that, under these circumstances will speed my annulment up once the civil divorce is granted?

Perhaps, while not filing the application can I submit paperwork to hasten the process?

Forced Marriage

I just married in civil court here in the Philippines last year. My marriage to her was a wrong one and a forced one, same on her side. Since then, I’ve been planning already to have a judicial declaration of nullity of marriage or annulment coz I consider my marriage to her was a PEFECT DOOMED RELATIONSHIP. I have all the reasons why I have to seek an annulment, the worst one is that the mother of the baby have declared against the legitimacy of the baby. Her declaration was manifested by her before, during and after marriage. The reasons why I wondered she had no mutual respect to me and used to take for granted with regards to the welfare and benefit of the baby during that time. Father Rick, is there any biological or scientific reasons that could prove such things ? How much it will cost to me ? How long will it take ?

Is it beneficial to both of us and the baby if ever I present those evidence in court coz at this moment, I’ve noticed that she’s trying her very best to have a reconciliation with me and even tried to have a whole family again and start a new one, and at the same time ignoring her declaration against the baby? Should I accept her again coz I know that still she will try to win me back?

Father, based on her manifestation. I have already established facts.

Fact 1.

She might have committed fornification, thus declaring such things. She was confused whose the real father of the baby. This is based on her actions. Now, because she realized and established facts that I’m the real father, thus, she’s trying her very best to win me back on her side. Unfortunately father, I have made a decision already based on all facts, things, actions she had showed before me and to my family as well despite repeated forgiveness, understanding I have given to her, still she continue to be stupid, so, I said to myself that its over. Now, my concern is on the baby, if ever I proved to myself that I’m the real father.

FACT 2. She’s maybe an adulteress.

Both are forbidden and condemned in the bible, which states that “they which [continually ] do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of god (Gal. 5:19-21; cf. 1 Cor. 6:9)

As of now, we live separately from each other. No agreements made. Father, she once uttered the words that if ever we decided to breakup, just like this, she’s willing to have signed the documents that would allow me to marry again. What are those documents? Where should I get those documents? Should I get those documents early and let her signed coz she’s planning to go abroad next year maybe London or USA. Is there any important thing that I should first give preferable attention in order to expedite the annulment process? Can I marry in the church again even if I don’t have an annulment decree yet?

Honestly, I suffered a lot in this relationship. There comes a time that I’ll be having a nervous breakdown. Please help. Thank you very much.

Civil Wedding

I have just seen your website and felt so much better to know that i am not alone. i am 22 and i had a civil wedding in the philippines in the beginning of 2001. we were married by a judge in my hometown in front of close family members. my marriage is not working out, for me and my husband don't get along at all. there were times that he has gotten violent, before and during our marriage. but being young and foolish that i was, i put up with everything and thought that he might change. i married him after we had a child. he still lives in the philippines and i, on the other hand, lives here in the US. i havent changed my status here, nor change my last name for i knew that our marriage was a big mistake in the first place. although i am considered not married here in the US, i want to be able to go on with my life and get my marriage in the philippines annulled. i can no longer afford to go back in tye philippines and at the same time, just don't want to go back there again. is there a way that i can get my marriage annulled while i'm here in the US and he's in the philippines? around how long would it take to get my marriage annulled? what do i need to do? around how much would it cost me to do this? please email me back and please try to help me. i will just feel so much better after all of this is over and done with. thank you so much for your time, father. Gold blesss and more power to you in helping other people with their problems.

Marriage Inside the Church Building

Could you please explain the reason that for a sacramental marriage to be valid it must be performed inside the church building? I'm not a thealogian by any means but i thought the people were the church. I don't know all the rules by in many cases a mass can be celebrated outside but a Catholic wedding can't be. I've been told it has something to do with the sanctity of the church ground. Please clarify this issue for me and thank you very much.

Grew up Lutheran

Father, I'd like to ask for my brother's fiance who is becoming Catholic. She grew up in the Lutheran faith and she is very moved by the spirit to become Catholic after a recent retreat she went on. She has asked me why is it that Catholics honor Mary the way they do? I know in my heart why I honor her, but I can't give history, scriptural background or concrete facts as to why we do that and Lutherans don't.Thank you.Dear Member,Both Catholics and Lutherans believe that Mary is the Mother of Jesus and in the communion of saints, which means that we continue in relationship with all the members of the Body of Christ (the Church) both living and dead. In the same way we know that we have a responsibility to assist one another here on earth, we believe that we can also assist those who have died and that they can assist us. Since we believe that all those in heaven can assist us, we believe that Mary has a special interest in helping all of us who (by baptism) are the brothers and sisters of her son, Jesus. In Catholic tradition, honoring Mary and seeking her assistance is never an attempt to make her a diety. If it is appropriate to honor the mother of the hero of the Super Bowl, it is much more appropriate to honor the Mother of Jesus who did much more for us than win a football game!

Strong Advoctate on the Institution of Marriage.

First of all..i would like to say that i am a strong advoctate on the institution of marriage. But second..also..i recognize the right of every human being to choose, to make mistakes, and to rectify those mistakes. My fiance who is in the philiipines...was forced to marry another becuz her parents disliked me for being divorced my self, in the military (like a hav a girlfrend at every port/country). I've known her for 20 years. She filed for annullment after 3 months of living together with her husband. We've been waiting for over 2 years now. I just dont understnand ...murderers, criminals, rapists...are forgiven by society... and given second chances....but not indiviuals who make the mistake of marrying someone they didnt even want. I know God isn't cruel. Why doesn't the philippine goverment see that???? They talk of family...which is good....should be strengthened etc etc etc...but very little is done to accomodate that hypcritical argument. Individuals who are given a choice. A choice... to be happy, a choice to make their lives whatever they want to be. I'm here in the United States, a citizen of this country, but a native of the philippines. I dont condone divorce becuz i'm a divocee myself....or becuz my fiance..happens to need one. But...as a divorcee...i know and see the goodness in it as well. My ex-wife is very happy, I'm at peace...but cud be more happier if I cud get my fiencee here to the US. I think u know wat i mean.

Divorced Protestant

I am a Catholic woman who is eligible to marry within the Catholic Church. My intended is a divorced Protestant who had entered into a civil marriage. Does he need to get this first marriage annulled by the Catholic Church in order to marry me in the Church? Also, the day the Justice of the Peace was to perform the civil ceremony, he was unavailable, so a pastor performed the civil, NOT religious, ceremony. Will that cause problems in proving that it was a civil marriage and not a sacrament?

Inter-Faith Marriages

I found your web site on the internet and I noticed that there were some questions on inter-faith marriages.

I am in a similar situation, and would be very grateful if you would be able to answer my questions.

My boyfriend and I would like to get married. I am Roman Catholic and he is Greek Orthodox. The ceremony would be held in the Greek Orthodox church. I will still remain Roman Catholic, my boyfriend will still remain Greek Orthodox, and should we have any children, the children would also be baptized and raised in the Roman Catholic faith. My boyfriend agrees with this and has no issues with it. The part that I am not sure about is that my boyfriend was previously married and divorced in the Greek Orthodox church (his ex-wife was Greek Orthodox also). However, his ex-wife was already married and divorced (no annulment) once already (to another Greek Orthodox man) before marrying my boyfriend. So, my boyfriend was actually her second husband. Her first ex-husband is still alive.

My questions are: 1) Would the Roman Catholic church recognize my boyfriend's marriage to his former wife as being invalid since she was already married and divorced once before and her first husband is still alive?

2) If the Roman Catholic church does regard my boyfriend's previous marriage as being valid, would they recognize our marriage if my boyfriend had an annulment on his previous marriage? If yes, does he require an annulment from the Greek Orthodox church only or does he require some form of annulment from the Roman Catholic church or both?

3) Assuming we can get to a point where the Roman Catholic church views my boyfriend's previous marriage as invalid, is there any way to have our marriage in the Greek Orthodox church acknowledged by the Roman Catholic church as a valid marriage? Would having a Roman Catholic priest attending the ceremony be sufficient or would he need to participate in the ceremony as well?

Remarried in non-Catholic Rite

I have a marriage situation and i will try to explain the best i can.. My ex-husband and I are both catholic..Married in catholic church 32 years ago. I remarried in Jan of this year to a non-catholic by a minister. The marriage is not working we are seperated now since sept 1. My question is can i have this marriage annulled. I understand that in order to do this the marriage has to not be consamated. The circumstances i have are that my husband could not get a erection without medication. My husband is unable to achieve an orgasm due to health problems. We have only been married for 7 months. What i want to know is can i get an annulment under any of these circumstances. My husband now is not a catholic. I dont know in the catholic religion what would be grounds for annulment. Thank You and I hope you can help me.

Baptized non-Catholic

I am a Catholic and would like to marry a baptized non-Catholic who has been married before. Would he have to get an annulment in order for me to obtain a dispensation from the Church to be married by a minister?

Former Marriage

My fiancée and I are planning on getting married next year. We want to get married in the Catholic Church. My fiancée was married before (18 years ago) but not in the Catholic Church. The reason was that her husband was already divorced and the Catholic Church would not recognize their marriage. Her husband divorced her after six months. She has remained unmarried since and has remained a practicing Catholic like myself.

The questions I have are as follows:

- Can we get married in the Catholic Church?

- Does my fiancée need an annulment from her first marriage?

If there are any other considerations we need to take before our wedding day, I would appreciate your advice,

Dating With Other Guys

I was searching the web and came accross with your webpage. I hope you could help me with my current situation. I got married year 1999 of January in the Philippines. Civil in papers that was signed by the town Mayor and By priest, who is a family relative of my wife but we never really didn't have a matrimonial ceremony in the church. We are married in one of the resorts located in Laguna. I sponsored my wife to get here in Canada as soon as I can and she came in year 2000 of December. After a total of 2 years that we are married I found out that my wife is dating & sleeping with some other guys than me (not one guy or two but more than that actually she told me she slept with total of 14 guys already since we got married) and one of those guys is a close friend of mine whom I never seen anymore after he found out that I know already. I was really devastated by this matter until now because eventhough how much I try to move on with my life. My wife left me the house for a total of 7 months now and I have no idea anymore where she lives or who she lives with here in Vancouver.

I was also suffering already from sponsoring her to be in Canada because the immigration here in Canada told me that I am still the sponsor of her for another 8 years more and that's a total of 10 years. The immigration told me also that no matter what happened to our relationship I am still the sponsor and just in-case she needed any support of any kind I have to give it to her which is I found it unfair if I started a new family. She left me totally broke and here I am still paying the debt consolidation that we both signed that will end by the year of June 2003. I even owe some more money from my mother just to sponsor her which is my mother understand that I cannot make any payments at this point of time until I finish the debt consolidation. I haven't tried to get divorce yet here in Canada because I wanted to "annul" my marriage first in the Philippines because I know the law back home is different than here in Canada. I don't even know where to start because I have two certificate here with me, one is civil & the other one by priest. I was hoping that you will recieve this email of mine and probably help me on how to get the Marriage Annulment. Thank you very much.

Married by a Reverend

I was looking thru web pages on divorces thru the church.

I was married in Wisconsin where I was born and raised and I have been married for 4 years and 3 months. I was married by a Rev. My husband is Catholic and baptized but I am not. We have been separated for almost 2 years. We were going thru a hard time. Everyone says its because we are young. People see him as a nice person but he is not very nice. He told me that he married me because I was with him for 5 years and he owed it to me because I have his 2 kids. We have irreconcilable differences.

I've been trying to get a divorce but its had to pay out so much money and I'm the only one working in the house. Now I'm unemployed. I would like to get my divorce soon. But I haven't been able to afford it. I need your help. Can you help me. Please let me know as soon as possible. Should I go see the Rev. that married me to see if he can help me with the divorce?

Basis of Abuse

I came across your web site today in great desperation. I've been married for 3 years after only dating for 10 months, my husband moved out 7 months ago after 21/2 years of a hellish marriage. He physically and mentally has been abusing me since the day after we married. He has been diagnosed with cronic depression and having a voilent temper. He has been admitted to the psychiatric hospital on several occassions.

Why i'm writing is i want an annulment from my marriage to him on the basis of the abuse and the fact he is too immature to be married. I am constantly afraid of his temper, he has physically hurt me on several occasions, he's raped me on several occassions, from which his parents had to intervene. He's a constant liar, drinker and does drugs. His mood swings and aggressive behavior started the day after we got married, he told me to take it now that we were married he owned me and i had no say in the matter. If he hadn't moved out i was truely afraid that i was going to kill him the next time he tried to hurt me. Our fights always ended up in violent outburst from him, he has done severe damage to my car, resulting in high repair costs, he's kicked in house doors, thrown things at me, put knives to my throat and threatened to kill me. I lived this way for 2 1/2 years and couldn't take it anylonger.

I've had to change the locks on the house, change the phone number, i'm afraid to go out at night incase he's around. There is no chance of reconciliation of our marriage, i want nothing further to do with this man, i'm afraid if the church can't help me i'll do something drastic to end this pain that's eating away at me everyday.

I'm frieghtened and need some advice, please give me some light at the end of this tunnel.

Left Husband fo Reasons

I am looking for someone who could help me,about my situation and i found your website. Right now,i am working here in taiwan as an overseas contract worker. I am a filipina,28 yrs. old. I've been married at my early age (18 yrs.old).It's been almost 4 yrs,since i've been separated from my husband. I want to move on and make a new life,but i could'nt make it because of my situation. I do not know,what are the process for filing an annulment.I am just an ordinary citizen and my in-laws are rich.We have two kids and for the past four yrs. they're w/ me,but i left them to my mom,because i need to work,to make a living for us. Last JUNE 2002,I went back to the phils. and sad to say,i gave up my kids to my in-laws w/ out any agreement.

When you're always hurt the best way is to go. I decided to go away and left my husband for several reasons,My in-laws have treated me bad,for almost 6 yrs,i became their servant.My husband has no job,nothing at all,he's just depending on his parents. He's an easy go lucky person.I can accept everything because he's my husband,for better or for worst, for richer or for poorer in sickness and in health..but when i became a" battered wife".....i decided to go and leave him alone. At my very young age i experienced alot of heartcahes and pains.Please help me father...because i really need help at this time. I do not know what to do.

Require So Much Papers

I saw your site in the internet and I hope you can help me with my question. I am a Filipina and a Catholic but living here in Germany with my husband. We want to get married again but in the Philippines and this time, we are opting for a church wedding. I would like to know if you can help me find a way how to acquire information for the preparation of a marriage there in the Philippines, ( Baguio City). All I seem to see in the internet (information) are for first time brides and groom and they require so much papers like single certificates etc. We don't have that anymore becase we are already married. Another thing which I also like to clarify is , if it would be possible for my husband to be married to me in the Catholic Faith when he actually comes from GREEK ORTHODOX faith. He comes from Bulgaria but we got married in the civil law here in Germany.Will that be possible of does he need to be baptized first as a Catholic? I would really appreciate it if you can give me some light on this question.

Practicing Catholic

I recently learned (purely by accident through the grapevine) that my ex-husband has obtained an annulment in order to marry a practicing Catholic. They married last week. I was never advised that he was seeking an annulment. Based on my understanding of canon law, I'm not sure he is entitled to it. I have been a non-practicing Catholic since before the marriage, and he's a non-Catholic. It was clearly understood before we married that I had no intention of remaining in the Catholic church, nor did I join any other church. (He's one of the least religious people I know.) We were married in a non-denominational church by an ordained minister. Don't both parties have to submit statements before an annulment is granted? At the very least, I would think that I should receive some sort of written notification about the annulment. What's the normal procedure and policy for this? How can I go about getting a copy of the annulment papers?

Annulment be Shortened?

I am residing here in the Philippines. As I was surfin thru the net to find out something, I came across to your website which will hopefully answer to my questions somehow. I dont know how to put up the right words to say but I do hope you could help me. My concern is about annulment in the Philippines. I have a friend who resides in the US. She got married here in the Philippines but unfortunately, their relationship with her husband didn't work out. Now she wants to get annuled in the Philippines. How long do you think is the processing time for the annulment cases in the Philippines? Would there be a fee for annulment? How much is it? My friend filed a divorce in Haiti and right now, it is approved and the documents are legal. In that case, would the processing time for annulment in the Philippines be shortened? I really do hope you could help me Fr. Rick. My friend is in bad condition right now because of her failed marriage. Thank you and hope to hear from you soon. More Power to your site and God bless!

Previous Marriage

I am contemplating requesting an annulment of my first marriage which ended in divorce. I am a catholic and my first wife was not. We were married in a civil ceremony first, and then in a Catholic Church a year later. I am presently married to a Catholic and because of my previous marriage, we were not able to marry in the Catholic Church. As a result, we are missing out on our Catholic faith because we are not able to participate in the Mass and the Catholic sacraments as we would like to. Thus, my decision to inquire about annulment .

My question is that it seems as though the only way to obtain an annulment is, if the marriage was entered into while I or my first wife were not psychologically prepared or mature enough to understand the concept of Marriage. I would like to ask you if my first wife, after two children were born, decided not to have any more children and had herself sterilized without my consent and approval, would this be sufficient grounds? She also decided to declare herself an atheist and leave me and the children and start a new life after approximately 17 years of marriage. My second marriage was not associated at all with any of my first marriage problems, as the second marriage did not take place until years later.

I know this is a long story and I tried to condense it as best as I could. Do you believe I have grounds to try to obtain an annulment, because my first wife did not want to fulfil the marriage vows? I would appreciate your opinion. Thank you very much.

Lacking Sacramental

I am Honduran-American (Hispanic, born and raised in NYC). However, in respect to what you said about the marriage. I am in love with him, and he claimed to be in love with me. We lived together and lived as married people. But,when I said he applied for his green card, he only had a visa when I met him and if he did not apply soon he would be considered "illegal" . I decided to marry civil first and then religiously in order to help the man I loved, not thinking that one day he would be so harsh and disrespectful. The way he thinks of life and the role of women is not the same he expressed when we were in courtship. Things that I did and gave up for him, because of my young age, and all for him. I just graduated from college with a BS in Accounting, and once I started applying for a job, he got upset. I am a professional woman who needs to develop her career and grow as a human being! He knew that from the get go, but never thought it would happen.Things got to a point where I felt that he did not want to be successful, like he was jealous or something of that nature. I sincerely think that he was using me all this time, in every way imaginebale. By the way he has a PhD in math and was my Professor in the University. He is cooperating with the divorce, because the University told him that they would be able to help him obtain his green card, he no longer needs my sponsorship.

What are some reasons to make a marriage lacking something "sacramental"? Thank you for your help!

Sacramental Books

i am hoping you can help me with a decision.

i was married in the philippines in 1989 at a catholic church and we got divorced (im a US citizen and so is my ex-wife) in 1990.

i recently checked my ex-wife's sacramental books by going to the church where she was baptized because i heard she got re-married and it turns out there is no record of any marriage in her book.

i also checked the church where i was baptized and our marriage was also not recorded in my sacramental book.

my question is, since our marriage in a catholic church was not recorded in both our sacramental books, do i still need to get an annulment in church?

thanks for your reply and for taking time to help me.

Love Affair

Maybe you can help me. This is not a joke. I'm looking for my son. At this moment i'm 58 years old. In 1964 I had a love affair in Manilla and from that love is a boy born. I have seen him once, at the age of about 1 1/2 years old. We wrote over a time of three years lettres with each other, but when I stopped whith my job as a sailor we lost contact. She was living in of near Manilla. Send me please a message if you can help me.

Alcohol Problem

i was married almost three months ago in florida. my husband left me a month ago and moved in with his ex fiance. i was wondering about getting an annulment from him if at all possible. i have tried to talk to him but he is either never there or out drinking. he does have a sever alcohol problem. please help me if you can. thank you.

Civil Annulment?

I would like you to enlighten me on this matter. I am a Catholic and a Filipino and my previous marriage has already been annuled by the Catholic Church, but has yet to be annuled by the civil courts. My ex-wife is now living in the States and has remarried already. We were granted a decree of divorce which is not recognised here in the Philippines. I am asking if can I already get married in the Catholic Church even if I have yet to wait for my civil annulment? I will be waiting for your reply.

Church Bureaucracy

My fiance and I have been engaged for 6 months. We started the annulment process for him in May of 2001 so that we could marry Catholic. We assumed it would be done by now, but its not. Looks like there is still another 6 months or so to go. Sadly, our Church will not do pre-cana unless the annulment is complete. Which means we have to wait another year to marry and another 6 months to set a date, which is ridiculous to be engaged a year and still not be able to set a date because of Church bureaucracy.(My mother is on me constantly to set a date, as is all of our family.) Is this canon law or a silly parish rule? Could I go to an orthodox priest now and get counseling from him but still marry Roman Catholic? Can we reduce the 6 months of counseling in any way? Your help is very appreciated!

Muslim-Catholic Marriage

I married a Muslim Arab in May 2001. I am Catholic and I got married in church. I did get a dispensation. I am in the process of getting a divorce. Do I qualify for an annulment? Someone told me that being that he is of a Non-Christian faith my marriage was not a sacrament, b/c in order to be a sacrament both parties needed to be baptized. I really want an annulment, it was a large mistake, there are manyfactors that have led me to this decisions. Especially, because our relationship focused on his green card and its not the first time I've thought of divorce. If I do get an annulment, may I take communion, or even remarry in the Catholic church? Please address my issue, which is Muslim-Catholic marriage with dispensation, one year of marriage, with many conflicts.