FIGHT THE ANNULMENT
I just got engaged on New Year's eve and we had about one week of complete happiness before facing serious issues. I need some advice. I'll give you our situation...and maybe you can offer some guidance.
First of all, I'm a devout catholic...am 43 years old and have never been married. I have followed all the rules of the church. My fiance is non-catholic, baptized methodist and divorced. He has been divorced for over 17 years and never remarried. He was married in Las Vegas in a methodist chapel. His wife was mormon, but neither practiced their religion. From talking to people, it sounds like he needs a full annulment.
My fiance has been wonderful about abiding by those rules that are important to me. We have not consummated our relationship...like I said I've always wanted to do the right thing and he's been wonderful about it. He's 52 years old and I'm sure that can't be easy. He was willing to at least start the process for me... but now his ex-wife has become involved. She will fight the annulment and she's presented the annulment to their 3 children as a terrible thing.. In fact saying that an annulment states that the marriage never should have happened and therefore they should never have happened. Of course that has made it very difficult for my fiance to go through with the process. He feels that will hurt them tremendously. How can I ask him to do something like that. I have tried to do things the right way... and he has too.
We love each other so much. We are extremely compatible and I know this marriage would be forever. Is there any other way to go about this?
First of all, I'm a devout catholic...am 43 years old and have never been married. I have followed all the rules of the church. My fiance is non-catholic, baptized methodist and divorced. He has been divorced for over 17 years and never remarried. He was married in Las Vegas in a methodist chapel. His wife was mormon, but neither practiced their religion. From talking to people, it sounds like he needs a full annulment.
My fiance has been wonderful about abiding by those rules that are important to me. We have not consummated our relationship...like I said I've always wanted to do the right thing and he's been wonderful about it. He's 52 years old and I'm sure that can't be easy. He was willing to at least start the process for me... but now his ex-wife has become involved. She will fight the annulment and she's presented the annulment to their 3 children as a terrible thing.. In fact saying that an annulment states that the marriage never should have happened and therefore they should never have happened. Of course that has made it very difficult for my fiance to go through with the process. He feels that will hurt them tremendously. How can I ask him to do something like that. I have tried to do things the right way... and he has too.
We love each other so much. We are extremely compatible and I know this marriage would be forever. Is there any other way to go about this?
posted by F O O D F O R T H O U G H T @ 10:11 PM
2 Comments:
At 12:35 AM,
pennygaeta said…
It doesn't sound like he needs an annulment. Go to your local parish, and tell them these specifics. It sounds as if he only needs a declaration of nullity, which is a much simpler process. His wife does not have to be involved to any degree and is not able to thwart the process. How sad that she would be so embittered and tarnish his relationship with his children. Nullity or Annulment do NOT invalidate the children or their legitimacy!
At 4:12 PM,
AtlantAnne said…
You crazy kooks! How in the world can you say that an annulment does not invalidate the union under which the children were created? How can you blame this mother for fighting for the legitimacy of her children? In other Christian faiths we don't annul our marriages. Just as you cannot go back and erase history and the fact that you WERE married, neither does the church attempt to do so.
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